The Vibrant Heart

Self-abandonment

Seeking love and attention outside yourself must be one of the ego's
most well-trodden routes. Sparked by the unmet needs of the unloved
one inside, our lives are a campaign of loveseeking. This 'something
unloved' will always be seeking attention but it looks for it in
wayward, off-the-mark ways, the only way we've ever known.

But nothing from the outside can pierce through this shell of
unintegrated energy. It can only break from within. It lies encased in
itself until the pressure builds enough to break it open. And Life
conspires to build this pressure.

As it breaks it hurts. And sometimes it hurts tremendously. But now we
have enough wisdom to know there is no other way. Freedom is calling
and it will rupture what must be ruptured.

As energy-breaking-apart engulfs the system it brings with it its own
crystal-clear clarity: seeking anything outside yourself will only
lead you back to pain. And layer by layer, Love's interventions
dissolve the seeking one.

The self-abandonment eases up. The forays into the external look empty
and dry. We come to rest more naturally, more gracefully in ourselves,
in the moment, in whatever we are doing, being, right now. We enter
and stay in the stream of our own life. A natural intimacy with
ourselves - the lack of which spawned all the seeking.

Love As Shepherd

O these places that don't know yet they are Love, that don't know how included they are in the All.

When one of these finally feels the touch of the Heart after eons in the dark, what a cascade of tears , of tenderness, of heart swelling, of gratitude , of utter commitment to know and be this Love everywhere.

The unraveling of what binds us to the dream of separateness as Love shepherds all back into the Fold.

O Blessed Vulnerability

Beloved, soft, soft place, how can it be that I never knew your name or where you lived before.

You that I love the most and have waited so long to see your face.

I could lay with you now forever.

You that lifts my arms to Love and has me call out Her name.

And Love comes running to meet me Here
For what could stand between us now
With all walls turned to dust in suffering's long embrace.

O most tender place of the human heart
How can I possibly write you or word you
I simply bow in prayer
That all beings will, some day, call you dear.

Being Triggered

Wherever the body-mind has been triggered, expect it to be triggered in that same arena many times over, and over again, until you can stand undisturbed in the face of what was always a catalyst for pain.

Heralding in the end of all suffering.

And every triggering is orchestrated with the clear view, precision, and tailor-madeness of Love, in Its deepest caring for you, in response to your original calling out for freedom.

From Disconnection To Intimacy

Our old, habitual ways of connecting with each other get stripped as we wade deeper into the waters of embodiment.

The coping mechanisms we had for covering up our shyness and introversion get painfully exposed. Gregariousness and conditioned speaking with a lot of energy begins to feel terribly false. The light is being shone on all the ways our inner sense of disconnection show up and we can be left standing awkward, self-conscious, one contracted lump of energy.

Simply allowing this energy of contraction to be here is all that is needed. It's no longer about trying to connect but feeling and sometimes speaking the disconnection if that feels safe. We get to speak what could never be spoken and there is profound relief in this alone.

And there may be such a longing in these moments to have someone hold you, to smooth out, to cry out the raw, defrosting threads of disconnection and separation in someone's understanding, compassionate arms. And this is pure grace. Love appearing through the dream, an extension, a reflection of your own softening heart.

The world, the life is one big ache and cry of unlovedness and disconnection. But Love, as it moves in, connects with warmth and delight and great ease of being. The true embodied intimacy of the one Heart.