The nit-picky stuff about appearance, weight, not good enough, compulsions, all the shoulds and shouldn'ts - all wafting up from the deeper belief that your very existence is wrong. That you are wrong at the core because you left God.
Addressing 'imperfection and self-sabotage' at the surface level doesn't work. For the mature student, there is a much, much bigger invitation at play. The invitation to know our innocence through and through. To know that nothing we could ever do could disturb our eternal innocence.
The character is a child of ego. It is responding purely to the laws of the ego that dictate your family and cultural hypnosis, that dictate the particular set of beliefs and habits of energy you carry.
Here is the beauty of what we get to hold - a wayward child with a mind and movements of its own, moving from frozen, locked-in energies. The spiritual ego will never be able to prod or coax this child into submission. It is crying out for Love- the love that all 'frozen children in adult bodies' call out for.
What is asked for is a gentle, non-judgmental witnessing of all states and behaviors that the critical, parental voice wants to be done with. Gentleness. Tolerance. Acceptance. Hand on heart. Stroking. It is all in divine process.
And sometimes we are gifted with the experience of the Heart going towards it, claiming it for Itself - going towards it happily, flowing through crumbling walls that just a moment ago seemed so real and impenetrable. This is the wonder of Love - its power and fluidity. Running to embrace with delight and that singular joy that only a reunion is infused with. Souls coming Home. Precious children thawing out in the light of Love.
We are Innocence and Love. All appearing otherwise is just lining up to know the truth.