I became an American citizen last year, just in time to vote for my love, Bernie. With pride and gratitude and tears in my eyes I voted for someone who touched my heart and sense of fairness and all things noble, kind and good.
And strangely today I am again proud to be American. To live in a country and a consciousness that is willing and courageous enough to show its shadow. To have it surface in all its glory. In the arrogance, prejudice and inhumanity that seems to mark our new government.
That marks this mind.
Just as 'my own' shadow keeps surfacing and dissolving, the shadow of my adopted country does likewise. My mirror. And all happening inside this mind.
It is all a call for love. And true vision.
Can we look at our brother, Donald, and just for a moment remember who he really is. Bypassing content and appearance, we look beyond to sense and see the Light and Love that animates this charade of separation.
To see his shining self. Yes, we can do this because it is simply the truth and in doing so, we strengthen that shift in ourselves to know and live out from our true identity.
True vision heals and nurtures truth and uplifts all. And reminds us separation doesn't work and never will.
Watching the inauguration this morning, my heart erupted in a passionate prayer to Donald Trump. "Please be good. Find your good".
May I, may we all, find our good. The goodness of God, the goodness of our true nature.
Smallness and shrinking back, as much as you may feel it is unbidden by you, is arrogance. It is the attempt to declare that you are something other than the greatness of God. It is an act of separation and wilfulness. Aligning with this small, cramped, limited self just so we could be out on our own, doing our own special, miserable existence.
We are so Big, so Bright, so Beautiful. Each and every one of us, such perfect, delightful creations of God.
So, come on out to the forefront of your own energy, of your own goodness. Ask for what you need and want and what you know in your integrity to be right for you in this moment.
Walk tall with a spring in your step because of who you are. Be happy to shine, to 'shine the Light in which you are created'. This is our purpose.
Such tendencies there are to slump down into the problems of the human condition. To let the mind be distracted into trying to figure out ways and means to fix the presenting problem. Always with a dash of you're doing something wrong. You're wrong.
Rehashing the same thoughts you had yesterday, last week, last year. This is all staying on the horizontal plane of linear time and space and suffering and conundrums.
The only answer is vertical. It is rising up to where there is no error. Standing up, divorcing yourself completely from the endless battering of mind.
Stay Vertical. Stay Light. Stay Truth. Stay Perfect.
Again and again, we see the only purpose of the world and all its issues is to push you into remembering its meaninglessness. To push you Vertical.
And this is a good thing. Because every one of these spells has the miraculous component of giving you an extra push back into the truth of what you are. Into True Life, with no interface with the bundle of lies we've taken on. Just the pure truth of what you are.
Light. Quietude of Heart. Surety of identity. Sitting on our Divine Throne. No falling prey to that tidal pull of mind into misery and smallness and weakness.
We are constantly being invited into our Grandeur. Grandeur wants us and we want our Grandeur. How inevitable is the ending of all bad dreams. Alleluia.
I AM THE TRUTH
Slowly, Truth moved in, not with a big bang but soon it was very noticeable.
NOW, the experience of NOW.
Everything, everything appearing in this NOW. Sounds, movements, things happening, bouts of mind conflict, all appearing in this great, BIG NOW, that has depth, depth. Nothing outside it, everything happening within it and it is ME.
This NOW is the depth of existence itself. Full Bodied as in the Body of Everything. Containing Everything.
Mind was experienced as a thought starting up......"I wonder if...", mind then continuing with another thought in response to that thought, followed by a series of thoughts. Following it and having attention go into it was experienced as conflict. A feeling of conflict in this GREAT EASE.
The mind is just CONFLICT. It doesn't matter if it's mind within myself or mind engaging with another - it's all the same - conflict. Engaging with other is engaging with myself. It's all happening in this NOW.
And this series of thoughts was not anything particularly troublesome in general but just the mind bantering within itself and yet it was experienced as conflict.
I AM THE TRUTH.
I AM THE TRUTH
I AM THE TRUTH.
This made itself known over and over again. Arising like a pillar of truth in the midst of mind, over and over. There were waves of mind, slight nausea, angst and then I AM THE TRUTH arising and gradually a falling away of the mind wave.
It felt like a force of truth emerging like a rocket and mind falling away, down, by the sides.
Strategies of mind making themselves known. How mind loves to make plans. Always making plans. Some of the strategies were hard to look at, seeing how the mind wanted to curl into itself, not to be exposed or have to look at the truth of its games.
I imagined speaking to a friend and suddenly it was seen that the friend didn't exist. The mind's perception of my friend didn't exist. How the mind didn't want to look at that, didn't want to see that it speaks to itself all the time.
Mind is very conditioned in me as this character Pema to respond to everything with "I can't" and "It's hopeless". Over and over again it runs away into this habit of energy. Seen to be just a habit.
It is never about combatting "I can't" with "I can" or "It's hopeless" with "It's not hopeless". It is to see this as a habit of mind, simply not true, not who I am. To wait for Truth to move, if and when it moves.
There was an imperative to SPEAK THE TRUTH and the habit of "I can't" came in very strong. It was also seen that all the qualifying and justifying of itself that this character does was nauseating. The preamble, the explaining, the trying to soften things for 'other minds', trying to be inoffensive, operating in a vibration of constant apology - all experienced as nauseating.
I AM THE TRUTH. SPEAK THE TRUTH.
YOU ARE THE TRUTH. SPEAK THE TRUTH.
The nit-picky stuff about appearance, weight, not good enough, compulsions, all the shoulds and shouldn'ts - all wafting up from the deeper belief that your very existence is wrong. That you are wrong at the core because you left God.
Addressing 'imperfection and self-sabotage' at the surface level doesn't work. For the mature student, there is a much, much bigger invitation at play. The invitation to know our innocence through and through. To know that nothing we could ever do could disturb our eternal innocence.
The character is a child of ego. It is responding purely to the laws of the ego that dictate your family and cultural hypnosis, that dictate the particular set of beliefs and habits of energy you carry.
Here is the beauty of what we get to hold - a wayward child with a mind and movements of its own, moving from frozen, locked-in energies. The spiritual ego will never be able to prod or coax this child into submission. It is crying out for Love- the love that all 'frozen children in adult bodies' call out for.
What is asked for is a gentle, non-judgmental witnessing of all states and behaviors that the critical, parental voice wants to be done with. Gentleness. Tolerance. Acceptance. Hand on heart. Stroking. It is all in divine process.
And sometimes we are gifted with the experience of the Heart going towards it, claiming it for Itself - going towards it happily, flowing through crumbling walls that just a moment ago seemed so real and impenetrable. This is the wonder of Love - its power and fluidity. Running to embrace with delight and that singular joy that only a reunion is infused with. Souls coming Home. Precious children thawing out in the light of Love.
We are Innocence and Love. All appearing otherwise is just lining up to know the truth.
Scenes and circumstances continue to play out in front of us, their one seeming objective being to convince us there is something wrong with us - that we are unlovable or we lack, that the love is over there, not here.
Don't be fooled. Stand your ground. It is time to blow this whole, bad dream apart. Recognize whatever you're seeing and reacting to is coming straight out of your mind, a mind that believes it is separate and whose only function is to keep that belief alive.
The scenes are a set-up. They are out to suck you into misery and to prove to you you are NOT the incredible Beauty that You are. You made it all up. This recognition is your lifeline. It is your point of authority over this dream of pain.
I am not denying the incredible amount of self-nursing, holding and releasing of pain that has happened over many years but when you have reached the point of being able to simply witness the shenanigans of ego, it is to honor that with all your heart. And it is a wonderful thing. You have endured countless lifetimes to come to this point.
So stand your ground. The ground of Self, of Presence, of Light. And let the movie show of separation roll on by. It has no power to touch YOU. Ever.
Separation does what it was made to do. Separate. From others, from ourselves, from Love. Judgement, shut down, attack thoughts, closed heart, inability to wish others well - all of it the nuts and bolts of separation.
A suffering being, a being that does not know the wholeness and happiness of Self, is just not equipped to pull out a magic wand and sprinkle fairy dust and blessings of goodness on others. She is just not equipped. And there is zero benefit from reprimanding her. She needs understanding and compassion.
I am so sorry, sweetheart. For ever taking you on this painful ride of separation. I am so sorry. Please forgive me.
And she needs the truth. That the character, the mind is locked into a program, a repeating, mechanistic, automatic program of thoughts, beliefs based on the particular stamp of conditioning, all arising out of the belief in separation from God.
It needs to be seen for what it is. Witnessing consciousness sits and watches the show go by. One wretched, less-than-noble thought after the next. None of it yours. Gratefully, thankfully so. The reality of You is going on at this moment even if mind is discordant. The reality of You taking over and gradually erasing all illusion.
God sees only the fruit of His Own Heart. His perfect, perfect Child.
He knows nothing of weird fantasies and universes of separation. His singular Love just flows and flows and flows, an eternity of Love and Flow. We sit in this Flow, every inch of us embraced and infilled with this miraculous gentleness.
Let this humble request 'How does God see me' wake you up out of the stupor of wrongness and into the brand new yet ancient realization of the bright light that you are. Wholly innocent. Only God's perfection filling every part.